After Being Betrayed in Marriage, How Did She Emerge From the Haze of Her Torment?(I)

By Mochou

“Happiness” Destroyed by a Single Phone Call

“Xiaomin, are you the only one home? Mingli isn’t there?” her friend Xiaomei asked her.
“Yeah, he went out to play cards.”

“And you believed him when he said that? Hey, I’ll level with you. Mingli is seeing another woman—he’s brought her over to my place a few times. Don’t believe him anymore! From now on when he goes out go along with him and keep a close eye on him. Got it?” Xiaomei hung up right after those words left her mouth.

Xiaomin didn’t dare believe what her ears had just heard. She thought of how she and Mingli had been married all those years and how she had always devotedly taken care of their home so that she and her husband could have a happy, full life together. And yet somehow, her husband had betrayed her with another woman—it was so heartless! She felt as if she had been stabbed through the heart, but she also felt incredibly angry.

She waited for Mingli to come home for what felt like a very long time, and when he finally came through the door, she furiously demanded that he tell her if he was having an affair. He flatly denied it. “No way! Don’t listen to the crazy things other people say. They’re just jealous of our love.”

“But why would someone say something like that for no reason?” Xiaomin was so angry that she began to cry.

“Who are you going to believe?” Mingli demanded, “me, or some other person? I said I’m not, so I’m not. Believe whatever you want!” Mingli stormed off in a huff, leaving her with those words. Xiaomin sat on the sofa in a daze, staring blankly as tears coursed down her face and past events played out in her head like scenes from a movie.

As far back as her memory went, Xiaomin’s father was never caring toward her mother. Seeing their cold, painful life together made her long to find a husband who truly loved her. She met Mingli when she was 23 years old. During their time together, she saw that he was a simple, stable person who was also very understanding of others. After they had been dating for a period of time, Xiaomin became certain that he was her ideal partner, and Mingli also solemnly swore that he would treat her well for the rest of their lives—before long, they were married.

After their marriage, Mingli became even more doting toward Xiaomin, especially after their daughter was born. He’d get up early every morning to wash her diaper and make breakfast for Xiaomin before heading off to work, all without a word of complaint. What was most moving for Xiaomin was that every time he came back from a business trip he’d bring her a gift. One time he spent his entire transportation allowance on clothes for her and had to borrow money from a colleague to get back home. Her female colleagues all said to Xiaomin, “You’re the only woman in the world, as far as your husband’s concerned. You’re so lucky!” Other people’s envy magnified her own happiness.

From then on, Xiaomin dedicated all of her energy to her husband and daughter, meticulously making three meals a day for them and even preparing the next season’s clothes for them in advance. She managed every aspect of their home lives with unfailing attention to detail so that Mingli never had to worry about a thing. She was also very filial to her parents-in-law, often buying clothing for them even when there was no special occasion. Mingli saw everything that she did and would often say to her, smiling, “I must have been a good person in my past life that I’ve been able to marry you. If I come back in another life I hope I can marry you again.” Hearing him say this, Xiaomin felt that she’d be utterly content in life as long as she could continue to live such a beautiful life with him …

BEEP–BEEP–BEEP! The jarring sound of a car horn tore Xiaomin away from her thoughts. She let out a long sigh and shook her head forcefully from side to side, wishing she could leave these painful things behind.

Her Husband’s Betrayal Leaves Her Heartbroken

Xiaomin started watching Mingli’s behavior to see if something really had changed inside his heart. She noticed that whenever his phone rang, he’d either take a quick look at it and turn it off, or he’d walk away from her and go downstairs to take the call. Not only that, but he would slyly turn his phone to vibrate mode. These odd behaviors left Xiaomin feeling very unsettled, and her intuition told her that something was definitely not right. She decided to get to the bottom of it. So, she looked at his call history and saw there was one person who had been contacting very frequently. Furious, she questioned Mingli, and faced with the facts he finally acknowledged that he was seeing another woman.

Xiaomin’s heart broke to pieces in that moment. She had believed that he would always uphold his vow to be good to her for the rest of their lives, and she never expected to find out that he had ventured outside of their marriage some time ago. She had been kept in the dark the entire time. She suddenly felt like she had been taken for an idiot, duped. She thought of how, ever since marrying Mingli, she had put everything she had into managing their home, and yet still he had betrayed her. She simply was not willing to accept the reality of this—she couldn’t. She cried and made a scene, but Mingli fended her off, saying that he was just having a bit of fun with that woman and he would never abandon Xiaomin, that he wouldn’t leave their family. She demanded that he make a clean break with the woman, but he immediately turned hostile and yelled at Xiaomin, “Don’t take this so seriously! You know about it now, but what good’s that going to do you? You’re just making trouble for yourself! How many men are there in our society today who aren’t seeing someone on the side? Only the incapable ones! My old classmates started seeing other women a long time ago, and I always felt so inadequate around them. Now that there’s another woman who’s interested in me, it shows that I’m someone, and I can finally hold my head up high around my old classmates. Don’t tell me I’m being cruel—this sort of thing is everywhere these days!” Seeing Mingli’s self-assured and shameless attitude made it even more unbearable for Xiaomin, and she began screaming at him. From then on, they had a small fight once every few days and a big fight once every week, and their relationship became even more stuck.

She Nearly Loses Her Life Attempting to Win Back Her Husband’s Heart

Xiaomin wasn’t willing to let her happy home just fall apart, so in an attempt to win Mingli’s heart back she started to dress up, buying beautiful clothing and accessories and high-end cosmetics. She also got permanent lip color and had her hair permed, and she bought Mingli clothing she knew he liked. But all of her hard work came to nothing—Mingli remained engrossed in his affair and their relationship deteriorated to a point of no return.

What really tore Xiaomin apart was when their daughter called and said she wanted to come spend a couple days at home over the National Day holiday, and Mingli jumped on the chance to leave before their daughter arrived, finding another excuse to go see that woman again. This was so painful for Xiaomin. She thought of how, over the course of the more than 20 years of their marriage, she had always thought that she was the most important thing in her husband’s heart and that what he cared about most was their family, but now her husband was placing that woman above her and their daughter. He was even willing to lie to her to mess around with that woman. She just couldn’t accept it. The more she thought about it the sadder she felt, and she even had thoughts of suicide.

After Mingli got back home, Xiaomin became hysterical and started a huge fight with him. She told him to completely break things off with the other woman, or else she would die right in front of him. Their daughter, crying, said to Xiaomin, “Mom, what would I do if something happened to you?” She also told her dad that he should leave the other woman. But Mingli showed no emotion and coldly rebuked Xiaomin: “You’re the one who wants to die—I’m not forcing you!” Mingli’s cold, cruel response left Xiaomin in a pit of despair. In that moment, the vows they had once made seemed utterly empty. “Love between a husband and wife,” “till death do us part,” “let’s still be husband and wife in the next life”—they were all lies! Xiaomin’s hope to have a lifelong happy marriage was totally shattered, and she felt that rather than live in such pain, it would be better to die and be done with it. She picked up a paring knife and stabbed herself with it. Mingli rushed to grab it from her, just barely averting disaster. Xiaomin sat on the floor, weak and limp, with tears pouring down her face, totally distraught. Her frightened daughter held her, sobbing silently, but Mingli remained indifferent, his face like ice. For Xiaomin, that was the most chilling thing of all.

In order to avoid Xiaomin, Mingli started sleeping in their spare bedroom. Every morning, he got up and went out very early, and wouldn’t come back home until late at night. Although they were living under the same roof, they had nothing to say to each other—they had become the most familiar of strangers. Xiaomin was so tormented that she had many sleepless nights and thoughts of death continued to frequently haunt her mind. She just couldn’t understand how her husband, who had been so loving to her in the past, could have become so cold and heartless. She became like a zombie, shutting herself away in the house whenever she wasn’t at work. She didn’t want to see anyone at all. This is how she muddled through her days.

God’s Words Dispel Her Heart’s Distress

In July 2010, a colleague shared the gospel of God’s work of the last days with Xiaomin, who read these words from God: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).

God’s words called out to Xiaomin, allowing her to feel God’s love and compassion for humankind. Now she understood that God had long since seen the pain and helplessness deep within her, as well as the despair she felt about life. God had always been keeping watch by her side, accompanying her, and now He had sent the gospel to her through her colleague in the hope that she could come before Him, accept His salvation, and leave her pain behind. God’s love, just like a mother’s, warmed Xiaomin’s heart, and she was deeply moved. She felt like an orphan who had been lost for many years and finally returned to her mother’s side. From then on, she read God’s words frequently and was often moved to tears by them. She basked in the sustenance and nourishment of His words. Finally, a smile appeared upon her careworn face, the first one in a very long time.

One day, Xiaomin read the words of God: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy for living, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”).

As Xiaomin pondered God’s words, it became clear to her that Mingli had betrayed her because he was pursuing evil, satanic trends and that the betrayal happened because he had been misled and poisoned by the evil thinking that Satan had steeped him in. She thought of how in the past, most people were more restrained by their conscience and by public morality, and because of this they considered cheating or having an affair as a scandalous thing. They knew that God knows everything we do, and they were afraid of being denounced by others, or being talked about behind their back. That’s why just a minority of people gave in to the temptations of the flesh and lived out their evil desires. But along with the rise of atheistic and materialistic education and influences, no one believes in God anymore and they no longer fear God. Subsequently, the trends of society have become more evil and corrupt, and all sorts of evil ways of thinking are being disseminated, and spread unchecked, such as “The red flag at home does not fall, the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze,” “Without a woman on the side, a man has no zest for life,” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” At first, people didn’t accept this kind of evil thinking, but bit by bit it became assimilated and ate away at them. Thus, people’s perspectives on things, their outlook on life and their values started to become twisted. People began to think that having an affair is a normal thing and an indicator of being a capable and charming person. That’s why more and more people have started going along with these evil trends, pursuing desires of the flesh and reveling in sin, becoming more and more corrupt to the point that they’ve completely lost all conscience, reason, character, and dignity. They’ve become more and more evil and depraved.

Xiaomin thought about how at first, Mingli had been a simple, stable person who really cared about their family, but then he started spending all his free time going out to bars and karaoke places with his old classmates. When he saw that lots of them had mistresses his thinking changed; he thought that a man having a lover or a mistress was a sign of having charm, that living that way was stylish and cool. So to satisfy his vanity, he went along with that evil trend and found a lover, betraying Xiaomin and hurting their child. Even when Xiaomin was at the brink of death, it wasn’t enough to win back his heart.

Looking at society today, there are more and more depraved, corrupt, morally bankrupt people like Mingli—tragedies like divorces and suicides because of an affair are on the rise, divorce rates are climbing and climbing, and countless once-happy homes are full of conflict and fighting. Husbands and wives become enemies and children’s souls are wounded. Isn’t the main culprit Satan, who has given rise to these evil trends?

But are the lives of people who have affairs really so carefree and easy? It occurred to Xiaomin that Mingli wasn’t any happier in life just because he had a mistress. He had to tiptoe around every day to protect his relationship with his mistress, and he had to put up with being denounced and rejected by his loved ones. His appearance had become more and more haggard, and he seemed to have aged quite a bit. He was constantly carrying a heavy emotional burden. Xiaomin could now see that Mingli was also a victim of these evil trends—it was all very sad, very pitiful. When she realized all of this, the hatred she felt for him abated somewhat.

To Be Continued …

After Being Betrayed in Marriage, How Did She Emerge From the Haze of Her Torment?(II)